Skip to main content


He was 26, She was 22. He was an IT guy, she was a management student. They had known each others for past three years and had been very close since then. "Hurting her" was even beyond  the last thing he could ever imagine and her faith in him was unflinching, she could stand against the entire world for the faith that she had in him. But, they were not in a relationship. He loved her as a friend and she was in love with him! Yet, the care,trust and understanding that they shared as friends was unaffected. There was a time, when he was in a different city for almost 8 months, but even the distance could not dilute the beauty of their bond.

Their friendship wasn't a bed of roses. They had their own share of fights,misunderstanding and disappointments, but nevertheless, their mutual understanding emerged victorious each time.

Then, life Happened. He was going through tough times, managing a lot of things, all alone, at the same time. He had his own struggles to face, his own deadlines to meet and his own frustrations and pressures to cope up with. Slowly, he became too occupied in these testing times. At times, he didn't even had time for her.

She still choose to stand by him. No, they were still not into a relationship, but she did not had the heart to give up on the guy she loves, especially when he was going through the rough phase of life.

But slowly, he started taking all this understanding and patience for granted. She still tried to hold on, understanding that he was not doing it intentionally. It wasn't about her, it was about his own fight with his own life and that he just needs time.

But with time, things worsened. He became more and more dominated by moods. He spoke to her at his own will and mood. Some mornings they would talk as if all is going great, while many times, he wouldn't even bother about her the same evening! At times, they used to have awesome conversations, but sending him an interesting youtube link the same evening or the next day meant inviting a facebook block!

Things reached the level of her self-respect and self-worth. The choice was clear, but it was difficult because she knew he wasn't behaving that way intentionally. It was a result of his own personal struggle and that he genuinely was not understanding how he was treating her and how it made her feel. She still chose to hold on.

But then, when the "taken for granted" scenario exceeded her self respect, she had to give in and make a CHOICE.

She knew that he was genuine, that he could never even think of hurting her and that the way he was behaving was not by choice or intention, but a result of situations around him, which is just a matter of time. She knew it all, yet she chose to increase the distances between them. She did so by telling him that she has given up on him and that she is in a relationship with someone else. Although, she was not.

Yes, she lied to him, but what else could she have done? She did not want to take the risk of making him feel bad by telling the truth, especially, since his intentions were not wrong. Also, if she would have told the truth, maybe, he would have tried to stop her, but this time she knew she cannot. Even if he wouldn't have tried, maybe a few days/weeks later, she might have had second thoughts about giving up on the guy she loves in his tough times. Of course, she was not in a relationship with him, but then, it was her love, not his. She was the one to hold on to it, saying that its her love and she will stand by it, without expecting, no matter he feels for her or not.

She did not had the heart to tell the truth, because for her, it was a choice between her self respect and the faith for which she had stood against almost everyone who knew what she shared with him. It was as it is difficult for her, she didn't want to complicate it even more.

Of course, she knows that to an extent she ran away from the situations, she was being inconsiderate, insensitive, manipulative and weak. More than anything, a part of her was guilty for leaving his side in such not so good hours, but at that point, none of it seemed to matter. Absolutely none of it.

Before things could deteriorate even more, she made a CHOICE. She chose to maintain the dignity of the bond they shared and decreased the closeness between them. She chose her self-respect, the dignity of their bond and hence, increased the distances between them, stopped fighting for his attention, stopped making efforts to make him smile and no matter how much cared, stopped showing that she did.

As she told him and as it looks from outside, it was clearly seen that she gave up on him, but in reality, she just increased distances before any negativity could find its place between them.

It wasn't giving up, it was just taking a step back.
To read the second part of this story, "The Second Choice", Click Here

To read the third and the final part of this story, "The Final Choice", Click Here


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rebel

The world has a way,
And I do not fit in there.

They want me to be caged,
But I was born to fly

They want me to be sombre,
But I am a wild child.

They want to lock me in systems,
But I am a free spirit.

They want me to honour customs,
But I defy them outright.

They expect me to be submissive,
But I question every bit.

They expect me to obedient,
But I am a rebel. A proud one.

Not every relationship has to have a name: A tribute; A confession!!!!!!

Dear readers,
In my last blog post titled, "Expectations & Attachment are two different aspects in love :)", i had mentioned a small story of Saksham and Raima. Those of you who haven't read that post, pleaseClick Here.Now let me confess that the story of Raima and Saksham is not fictional. It is very much real and I AM THE RAIMA...yes, the author of this blog, Rupali Tyagi is the Raima of that story :) Coming to Saksham, dear readers, I choose not to reveal his identity and I request you all to please respect his privacy as well as this decision of mine.

What I shared with Saksham is precious. It has sculpted me in many ways. Made me a much stronger person and taught the true meaning of detached love. Here is my tribute to something so special and so beautiful.....and oh, the bond I shared with him doesn't have any name. Why? Well, By the time you complete reading this post, you will understand.

February 24, 2013:
Two years ago, things were so different...I was…

My thoughts on Ravinder Singh's new book, "This love that feels right", Open marriages and love outside marriage

This love that feels right, based on the concept, “you can control someone’s actions, not their mind”, is a thought provoking take on open marriages and emotional bonds outside marriage.
The book beautifully explores how an emotional void in a relationship can lead to a man or a woman seeking companionship outside marriage, and no, they are not wrong. At the end of the day, we are all human beings, and crave to be deeply understood, valued, and respected by our partner. But when these basic human needs are not satisfied, a man or a woman tends to become more vulnerable to share their innermost feelings with someone who understands, values and respects them. Emotional void is as good as suffocation, and who enjoys that?

Of course! Every marriage goes through its ups and downs. You cannot give up on someone you love, just because you had a fight/difference of opinion. Of course not. But what when someone takes the efforts to make things work, but their partner is still indifferent to t…